


Mixed Signals and Murder (Almost)

by Alphabees



Series: Prompts, Ficlets, Drabbles. [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Ficlet, I mean seriously don't read this one if you like Blaine, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Non-graphic death, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Supernatural Elements, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphabees/pseuds/Alphabees
Summary: For the AU + Trope + Prompt gameSupernatural!AU (Vampire Slayers) + Fake Dating + “Do you ever feel like you’re far away no matter where you are?”
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Prompts, Ficlets, Drabbles. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776796
Comments: 11
Kudos: 67





	Mixed Signals and Murder (Almost)

“Do you ever feel like you’re far away no matter where you are?”

That’s what Sebastian chooses to say when Kurt rests his head against his chest for some reason, and it’s a miracle that he doesn’t immediately blow their cover by looking at him like he’s lost his mind.

Instead, Kurt stays put, shutting his eyes as if he’s really in love with this man and savouring a tender moment. As the pleasant orchestral melody swells, he shifts so that he can whisper, “what on earth are you talking about, Smythe?” into Sebastian’s ear.

There’s no way for him to not feel the way Sebastian shivers, but he’s not in the mood to tease him about it. They have work to be doing. 

“I’m just talking,” Sebastian responds a little more tersely - they’ve done enough hunts together for Kurt to know his eyes are rolling. “You know, making conversation. Last I heard, couples tend to have those.”

“I don’t think we have to be that convincing, darling,” Kurt mutters, smiling a little at Sebastian gently leading him as they sway. The look on his face completely contrasts how exasperated he sounds, so it’s just as well that Sebastian can’t see it. “The Andersons are hardly renowned as the smartest coven… I mean, look at where we are - they’re not exactly discrete.”

Kurt doesn’t think he’s ever spoken truer words. Much like everybody around them, Kurt and Sebastian are dressed up to the nines, twirling to a delicate rhythm just waiting for an excuse to start taking out their marks. The ballroom sparkles no matter where Kurt looks; elaborate candelabras hang overhead, the flickering flames they hold are iridescent, if not a little gaudy, and everything in the ballroom that can physically be gilded has been. Kurt is all about glitz and glamour, but not to excess - he learned that when he tried to bedazzle a dagger. He was 16 then; it almost got him noticed, and subsequently killed. In retrospect, there was no real need to make it shinier; it was already silver. All of their weaponry has to be, considering its intended use.

“They’re still vampires, Kurt.” Sebastian seems bitter, both through the slightest change in his voice and the infinitesimal slump in his shoulders. It might have gone unnoticed if Kurt’s arms weren’t looped around them. “Just because their little fledgeling has a soft spot for you, doesn’t mean we can afford to get sloppy.”

Kurt would love to roll his eyes, he really would, but Sebastian has a point. He’s not going to let him know that so easily, but it’s true - he’s spotted at least 3 sets of eyes tonight that don’t reflect the lurid lighting and follow him too closely whenever he passes, blinking with eerie regularity, and that’s excluding the evening’s hosts. 

“First of all, there’s nothing soft about it. I bought him one coffee, just to see if I could get some intel, and he decided to spill every last detail about his life - including our invitations tonight - in the span of about half an hour. My ears are still ringing from it, you know,” Kurt reminds Sebastian, who radiates exasperation along with his body’s warmth. “Secondly, I’ve never done anything sloppy in my life, and you ought to know that by now. What _I’m_ struggling to understand, however, is why you’ve been such a grump since then.”

“I’m not a… Grump,” Sebastian grumbles. When Kurt pulls back a little to arch a brow at the pout on his face, he soon relents. “Alright-- Maybe I am, a little - but not for no reason. Need I remind you that you invited me to get coffee that day, which I subsequently had to drink alone? You wandered off with that pint-sized bloodsucker without saying anything. You’re lucky that place is right next to my apartment, or I would’ve been whining about walking home alone for the past week.”

Kurt opens his mouth, about to dispute that claim before he remembers it’s true.

“Okay, so that was my bad,” he admits, to a satisfied smile from Sebastian. “But you do remember that it was supposed to be a meeting strategising our way into this very soiree?” 

“I do,” Sebastian nods, tilting his head as sarcasm starts to tinge that smile. “I also remember you not telling me that until after the meeting was over, and you’d already charmed your way into giant eyesore--”

  
“God, I was hoping you’d say something about it. I’d take any excuse to rant about this decor-- surely even the most ancient of vampires would be able to tell it’s a little much...”

“Right,” Sebastian laughs, his head tipping back with it, and Kurt gets so wrapped up in it for a moment he forgets anything else in the room is shining. When he stops, he doesn’t look quite as happy, and it’s sobering. Kurt’s contemplating offering him a make-up latte, but he wants to let him finish talking first. “And then there’s tonight. Or more specifically, last night, when you asked me to--”

“Hold that thought,” Kurt interjects, his eyes now laser-focused on two figures at the other side of the room. It’s the kitschy vampire he shared the world’s longest coffee with, and some other guy he doesn’t recognise who he’s evidently compelling outside. “Shit,” he hisses under his breath. “Come on. Back exit.”

He doesn’t explain anything further as he drags Sebastian along by his lapel, and he thankfully keeps his footing. Together, they weave a beeline through the crowds towards the door the catering staff have been using to take sneaky smoke breaks all night. Kurt knows from researching the premises that it also leads conveniently to a dingy alley where he’s sure plenty of regular human murders have taken place anyway - let alone supernatural ones.

When they barge their way outside, Kurt looks around, and it seems they’re alone. Just to be sure he peers around the corner into that alley, and then around the corner he’s about to approach from. He grabs Sebastian’s sleeve and pulls him into the cleanest available corner.

“This doesn’t exactly seem like the best place for all that reconnaissance you were talking about on your way over here,” Sebastian murmurs. He’s masking his confusion with sarcasm, as always - it’s so familiar that it’s comforting, even though the streetlight’s too dim for Kurt to see it on his face. They’re close, close enough that Kurt can feel his own heart rate jumping, and then he remembers even the most juvenile of vampires would be able to sense that. No matter how dark their corner is, simply living and breathing gives them away.

“Kiss me,” Kurt breathes, because it’s a good, sensible way for them to look unsuspecting because any dashing young couple could plausibly leave the dancefloor to make out in the middle of a high society function simply because they want to, and not for the purposes of preventing a murderous feeding - but Sebastian does it before he can explain any of that.

His back hits the wall hard, and all those distant thoughts of just how much bacteria are festering in the stone melt in an instant. Sebastian is too warm, too gentle but insistent all at once for anything else to cross his mind. 

All the times Sebastian bragged about being a good kisser suddenly make sense. Kurt never doubted him, per se, but he always took it with a grain of salt because he saw no reason for Sebastian to bring it up other than teasing him. The number of people who Kurt has kissed before can be counted on one hand with two fingers left for him to pinch himself if he ever dreams of it happening again.

Except, now, it’s happening. Sebastian’s breath washes over his skin in hot puffs for the brief moments he pulls away, only to let their lips meet again, and Kurt soaks up every last second of it. The sound of their suits rumpling and the inevitable creasing is easily ignored for the way Sebastian’s body, tall and lean, presses against his. The lingering smell of damp is non-existent because whatever cologne Sebastian picked for the evening has the perfect amount of spice to it, matching the way Kurt’s body heats up as Sebastian’s hands move over his hips, his waist, his chest - anywhere they can reach. As Kurt arches into every last touch, he forgets leaving the hall for any other reason.

That is until he hears two sets of footsteps and a distant laugh that exudes malice, sending an icy chill down his spine that even Sebastian can’t distract him from.

In the position he’s in, he can’t reach the blade strapped to his ankle - it’ll be easier to reach Sebastian’s. They’re partners, so they know each other’s preferred hiding places - conveniently, Sebastian’s favourite happens to be his back. 

When Kurt grips at the back of his shirt beneath his jacket to untuck it Sebastian moans, and from there, their tongues get involved. It’s exhilarating, it has Kurt’s fingers curling in the fabric of Sebastian’s shirt for a second that he can’t afford to waste. None of it feels like a waste, but the matter at hand is quite literally life-or-death for whoever Blaine’s about to lead around the corner, and so Kurt quickly lets go, fumbling with the back of Sebastian’s belt instead. 

Sebastian is taken aback by that - Kurt can feel it in the way his body stills for a moment, although his focus is torn between that and having the small of his back beneath his fingertips, as well as the task at hand. 

The sheath isn’t there.

Kurt realises this when he can hear Blaine rounding the corner, muttering something to the man whose mind he’s robbed for the purposes of bleeding him dry. Sebastian, who’s doing a wonderful job of completely ignoring that, chooses that moment to press those kiss-swollen lips to Kurt’s neck. It might be his attempt at a joke, or perhaps irony, but Kurt can’t remember the correct definition of irony coherently with Sebastian’s teeth scraping over his pulse point like that.

He cracks one eye open, and the second he sees Blaine stepping out of sight again, he lifts his leg behind him. Thank goodness he’s flexible. 

It confuses Sebastian enough to make him pull back, and Kurt clamps a hand over his mouth before he can question it. In a matter of seconds, he has his dagger in hand and that alley in his sights.

No hesitating - that’s the rule. As soon as he sees Blaine he lets the blade fly, and it slices right through his skull. Silver is always good for that.

Kurt has to look away as soon as he hears the sound of flesh sizzling, and he quickly covers his nose for the stench that follows. On the behalf of the would-be victim, he’s glad that breaking a compulsion usually renders people unconscious. The dirty wall he’s slumped against doesn’t look comfortable, but it’s better than smelling the rotting flesh turning to ash.

When he steps back, he bumps straight into Sebastian, who’s staring at him with a worryingly neutral expression.

“That’s why you pulled me out here?” He asks, his voice as stony as the look on his face.

“Of course,” Kurt tilts his head a little. “Why else would I--”

“It’s fine. Good job,” Sebastian looks over Kurt’s shoulder, nodding with a begrudging sort of approval at the shambling remains of Blaine Anderson. “I mean, our cover with this coven is completely blown now…”

“I couldn’t let him die.” Kurt will get a lot of flack for it, and he knows that, but he doesn’t plan to apologise.

“I know. We’ll figure it out, but from a safe distance. I don’t want to be here when our hosts start to miss him. It’s probably weirdly quiet in there for them already,” Sebastian quips, lightening the mood somewhat. He glances down to Kurt’s lips before he steps past him. “I’ll call an ambulance for that poor schmuck... Grab your knife and meet me by the car.”

They end up waiting by the car, taking in the night air. Kurt’s dagger is strapped to his ankle once more, and if they’ve raised any sort of alarm nobody’s traced the chaos back to them yet - but Sebastian is strangely quiet.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt says, partially to give them both something else to do than listen out for sirens. 

Sebastian side-eyes him, keeping his arms tightly folded as he responds. “What for?”

It’s a curious reply - Kurt was expecting to have it rubbed in his face more directly, but it seems Sebastian is expecting him to do it himself.

“For blowing it. I know it was rash, and I said all that stuff to you about taking this seriously on the way here--”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian laughs, sounding every bit as pained as he does amused. It throws Kurt off, and he frowns as he tries to put his finger on what else could have Sebastian so pouty. His only guess is that it has something to do with where they left off on the dance floor.

“Is it… Are we still on the coffee thing?”

“You’re so close, Kurt,” he sighs, looking up at the clouds above. After a beat, he seems to realise that he’s not getting much closer on his own. “I’m not mad at you. I’m… Frustrated. It’s mostly my own fault, but it starts with the way you asked me to get that coffee.”

“Was I rude?”

“No-- The opposite, in fact. I just didn’t realise it was a strategy thing until we got there, so I was… Confused. And then, leading up to tonight…”

Kurt blinks. He furrows his brow, thinking about all the preparations he’s been doing to keep them both safe and well aware of their exits, and how he ran Sebastian through those on the car ride over…

And then he remembers how he organised that. A simple text saying, ’ _I need you to be my date for a night_ ’, which seemed perfectly appropriate at the time. Now, as he takes in the embarrassed, self-deprecating smile on Sebastian’s face, and how readily he pushed him up against that wall not too long ago--

“Oh god…”

“I know. You don’t have to--”

“You thought this was a real date.”

“...Yeah, I did. For a little while.”

“And then when I told you to--”

“Stop,” Sebastian pleads, running a hand through his hair the same way he always does when things go awry. He looks away completely in a display of shyness Kurt isn’t used to seeing from him. “I should have realised, I know. You don’t sleep around, or date, and I should’ve given up on both of those concepts long ago.”

Kurt’s eyes are blown wide by the realisation that, yes, Sebastian has been considering actually _dating._

Dating _Kurt._

There’s another long silence as Kurt tries to process all of this, but a few things stick out in his mind more than others. They bicker constantly over the smallest, most insignificant things, that’s just how they work - but because of that, he has this acute understanding of how Sebastian works. What he does when he’s happy, or sad, or confused - how hard he works, how careful he is, and how dependable he can. Even after their worst spats early on in their professional relationship, Sebastian never needlessly questioned his judgement and vice versa. They work well together in more ways than one. 

Even without all of that working in his favour, Sebastian literally just watched him take an undead life and praised him for it. They’ve saved each other’s lives more times than he can count, and even when he’s not doing that, Sebastian makes Kurt’s much more interesting.

He’s broken that no-hesitating rule, but after thinking on it like that, it makes sense that his heart flutters when he takes Sebastian’s hand. 

“I was already going to offer you a make-up drink,” Kurt admits, watching their hands as Sebastian slowly turns to face him. They’re a little larger than his own, and the skin is rough in an attractive way. It makes him more nervous, but he owes it to Sebastian to bite the bullet. “We might as well make it a date. What do you say?”

The grin on Sebastian’s face is so breathtaking, Kurt feels like he might just be undead himself.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this one was WAY longer than planned, and had nothing to do with Buffy as the prompt suggested (because I've never seen it) but... I had fun! I hope you did too! C:


End file.
